Jar of Hearts
by LazySmurf247
Summary: AU: Amanda goes to her hometown for her Nana's birthday. What happens when everyone finds out that she needs a heart transplant, but somehow, it falls through. And how will everyone react once they find out another one of her life changing secrets? R&R!
1. Chapter 1

A/N #1: Hello, all you wonderful people! Yes, yes, yes ya'll! This is indeed a new story and I know, I have no business putting up a new one, when I have SEVERAL others that need to be updated instead of collecting dust. Yeah… I know. Anyhoo. I have a plan for this story, I even outlined how I want it to go, and I think it'll be pretty good, but who knows. And I'm not really following the story line either, except that it's before season 4. I put my own twists and turns, because it's AU, and that's why fanfiction rocks my socks! I have to say… the anticipation for September to hurry and get here, is killing me! Seeing all the sneak peaks and exclusive pictures on FaceBook, I just can't wait to see it! I'm super excited, and I'm sure all of you are, because let's face it… Sons of Anarchy is the BEST SHOW EVER! Okay, enough of my rambling and nonsense, and on with the story.

Disclaimer: I own NOTHING from Sons of Anarchy… just my OC's. Thanks!

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><p>…Chapter 1…<p>

Amanda Sawyer just walked into her condo, from running a few errands down town. She had to go to the bank to cash her check, head to the liquor store for some Patron, and pick up her prescriptions. _"I want to have, at least, five shots of this yummy goodness."_ she thought as she was putting her favorite alcohol in the fridge, then frowned. _"But damn it, I can't."_

Amanda's roommate and best friend Miriam Delgado, walked into the kitchen with a couple of envelopes in her hand. "Oh, Manda?" she said, in a sing song voice.

"What?"

"It's about _that_ time."

Amanda stopped what she was doing and raised her eyebrow, a little confused. "Time for what?"

Miriam slid one of the envelopes over to Amanda. "This Saturday, is your Nana's 75th birthday party, duh."

"Oh, right." Amanda opened it up and read it. "Already?"

"Yes, but that's during the day, and at night is the welcome home party for the club. I talked to Chibs and they got out of prison a few days ago."

"Oh, cool." Amanda pointed to the envelope that was still in Miriam's hand. "What's that?"

"Gemma sent me my own invite."

"Cool." Amanda nodded, then looked down.

"What?" Miriam asked. "What is it? Do you not want to go?"

"I do, it's just…" Amanda paused, thinking of what to say, without saying what was really on her mind. "I haven't seen Jax since Grandpa's funeral; we slept together, and after he got Abel back, we snuck off somewhere and we slept together. Both times was a mistake and it shouldn't have happened that way, because he was with Tara." she shook her head. "I just don't want to make anymore mistakes, especially after what my doctor told me."

Miriam placed her hand on top of Amanda's. "Forget about Jax for a second… regardless what Dr. Nelson told you, Amanda, you can fight this, because my best friend isn't going to die, you're gonna live forever. You're gonna marry Jax, pop out a couple of kids, and live until we're all old and crusty, you got that?"

Amanda nodded. "Yeah, I got it, except for the marrying Jax part, because I don't see that happening."

Miriam laughed out loud. "Girl, please… who are you trying to convince, me or you? I know you love him, and I know he still loves you, on _some_ level." she took a deep breath. "So, can we go to Nana's birthday extravaganza, plus the party for the guys, and have a sweet ass bitchin' time?" she batted her eyelashes. "I promise, we'll have a bitchin' time."

"Alright!" Amanda chuckled. "We'll go."

"Yay!" Miriam started dancing around the kitchen. "Woot - woot!"

"But." Amanda said, making Miriam stop in her tracks. "Before we go, we need to make sure I have enough meds to last, while we're there."

"Manda, if you happen to run out, call Dr. Nelson, and get your prescriptions transferred to a drug store in Charming."

"Oh, good idea… yeah, that'll work."

"Yay!" Miriam continued dancing around. "We're gonna par - tay!"

Amanda laughed, walking out of the kitchen. "I'm gonna go pack."

"Me too!" Miriam yelled, then both of them scattered to their bedrooms to pack their suitcases.

...

"I figure." Amanda started, looking at the calender on her cell phone. "We'll come back to Los Angeles, next Sunday… does that sound good to you?"

"I don't know, Manda." Miriam shook her head. "What if Jax falls madly and deeply in love with you and he begs you to stay?"

Amanda frowned. "He's with Tara, so it's not gonna happen."

Miriam shrugged. "Maybe, maybe not, you never know… but yes, Sunday sounds fine."

"I guess, I'll just…" Amanda sighed. "Have to avoid Jax as much as possible."

Miriam scoffed. "You think Gemma will let you?"

"No, but if it was up to her, me and him would be together… even after all this time."

Miriam rolled her eyes. "You two are retarded for each other." she laughed, then smacked Amanda's arm. "I bet you… a million dollars, we won't be leaving Charming."

"Flight number two-twenty-eight to Sacramento is now boarding. Please have your ID's and boarding passes ready. Thank you for choosing Southwest Airlines and have a nice flight." is what everyone heard over the intercom.

Amanda stood up. "Time to go, Chicky."

"Aye, aye, Captain." Miriam stood to her feet, giving Amanda a half ass salute, making her laugh, then a few minutes later, they boarded the plane.

...

An hour and a half later, after Amanda and Miriam landed in Sacramento, and after Amanda rented a Dodge Challenger, and after a forty-five minute drive, they pulled up to Evelyn's house in Charming.

"Does Nana even know we're coming over?" Miriam asked, unbuckling her seat belt.

"Nah." Amanda chuckled. "I haven't talked to her in a few days."

"Well then, let's go surprise the birthday girl… I mean, birthday woman." both of them grabbed their purses, got out of the car, and walked up to the door. "I'll do it." Miriam pressed the doorbell.

A few moments later, the door opened, and Evelyn gasped. "Amanda! Miriam! What are you two doing here?"

"Hey, Nana." Amanda gave her a hug. "We're here for your birthday party."

"Yep, it's this weekend." Evelyn let go, then gave Miriam a hug. "How are you?"

"I'm good, Nana."

"That's good." Evelyn let go, then opened the door a little more. "Come in." both of them walked in and went into the living room. "How long are you two staying?" Evelyn asked, sitting on the couch.

"Well, Manda figures." Miriam plopped on the couch next to her, as Amanda sat on the recliner. "We'd leave by next Sunday, but then again, if Jax falls madly in love in Manda, we might end up staying."

"Miri, it's not gonna happen." Amanda shook her head. "Besides, he's with Tara."

"Oh, no, no, no." Evelyn paused. "About three months in, Tara got tired of visiting Jax at the prison and she told him that she wasn't going to wait for him to get out, so she moved back to Chicago."

Miriam smiled. "So, he's free and clear?"

"Not exactly."

Amanda raised her eyebrow. "What do you mean?"

"He's been hanging around that porn star Ima." Evelyn made a face. "A lot."

"Oh." Amanda slowly nodded. "I see."

"Come on." Evelyn stood up. "I'll show you the room, you two will be staying in." then Amanda and Miriam followed Evelyn down the hallway into the spare bedroom. "Here it is." it had a king size bed, a flat screen mounted on the wall, and a bathroom with a shower.

"This is perfect, Nana." Miriam said, jumping on the bed.

"Yeah." Amanda nodded. "Thanks for letting us stay."

"Oh, it's no problem." Evelyn waved her hand. "I'll let you girls get settled in."

"Thanks, Nana." Miriam waved, then Evelyn walked out of the room. "You know." Miriam started, now laying on her stomach with her legs in the air. "I really think we should stay in Charming."

"Why is that?" Amanda asked, sitting on the edge of the bed.

"Not because Jax is here, but you do have family."

"What about Joel? He's my boyfriend, you know."

Miriam glared at her. "Yeah, only when it's convenient for him, and trust me, the two of you haven't been a solid couple since the first time you slept with Jax."

Amanda stared at her for a few seconds, before responding. "That's so not true."

"Oh, really?"

"Yes, really… Joel and I are doing just fine."

"Riiiiiight." Miriam rolled her eyes and sat up. "First of all - you haven't talked to Joel or seen him, in three days, plus he has no idea that you're here. Second - once you see Mr. Jackson Teller, you'll be singing a different tune." Amanda just stared at her. "And you know I'm right."

"Well, let's just say, for the sake of this conversation, that you are right… it doesn't matter anyway, Jax is with Ima."

"Don't let that porn slut get in the way of what you want."

"Miri, I don't want Jax."

"Amanda Sawyer, look me in the eyes, and tell me that you don't want Jax."

"Miriam Delgado." she mocked her, then both of them were nose to nose. "I do not, I repeat, I do not want Jax."

Miriam laughed out loud, laying back down on the bed. "You're so full of shit… and like I said, once you see him, you'll be singing a different tune, because I'm your best friend, and I can see passed all the bullshit."

"Whatever." Amanda laughed, as she stood to her feet, then smacked Miriam's leg. "Let's go get our stuff out of the car."

"Okay, Chicky." Miriam rolled off the bed and went outside with Amanda.

...

Jax walked into the office and saw Gemma on the computer. "Hey Mom, here's that box you wanted." he set it on the chair. "What's it for?"

"Both parties on Saturday, for you guys, and Nana Evie."

"Oh, yeah." he nodded, then saw the smirk on her face. "What?"

"Evie sent me a text, a few minutes ago."

"Okay." he said, not knowing where she was going with this.

"Guess who's at her house… right now?"

"Who?"

"Amanda."

Jax smiled a little. "Really?"

"Yep and she'll be in town, until next Sunday." Gemma pointed her finger at him. "Jackson, you have about a week to make her your Old Lady."

"No." Jax frowned. "I'm with Ima, Mom."

"Oh, please." Gemma scoffed. "Your so - called 'relationship' with her, has the shelf life of a banana. I don't trust her… not with you and definitely not with my grandson."

"She's been good to Abel."

"Maybe for now, but she's the type of woman that don't like or want kids, especially with her promising porn career." Gemma rolled her eyes. "And she plays nice with him in front of you. Believe me, I've seen her pretend that she gives a shit about him. But, when you got out of prison, you wanted some pussy. Tara was gone and Ima was right there, willing and ready, just like she was before we went to Ireland, because ever since that bitch has strolled into town, she's been obsessed with the idea of hooking herself a Son." Gemma crossed her arms over her chest. "Are you really that naive and blind?"

Jax groaned. "I don't have time for this… I'll be picking up Abel, later on."

"Actually, I'll watch him tonight. I'm having a big dinner at the house, so be there at seven."

"Fine." Jax nodded, then walked out of the office.

"One look at Amanda and Ima will be out of our lives forever." Gemma said, in a sing song voice.

Jax went into the clubhouse to grab a beer. It was too early for one, but he didn't care. He sat down on the bar stool, and took a sip, thinking about Amanda.

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><p>AN #2: Okay, peeps! There's chapter one and I hope you liked it. I'll be updating this one a lot, just to tide you over until season 3 DVD comes out, so I can finish the other ones. And believe me, there's more to come, and there will be lots of drama ahead. Just wait and see! Thanks for reading and don't forget to R&R! Youse guys are the best!


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I own NOTHING from Sons of Anarchy… just my OC's. Thanks!

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><p>…Chapter 2…<p>

Jax, Ima, Juice, and Chibs walked into Gemma's house at seven - fifteen. As Gemma was setting the table, she groaned, watching Ima hanging all over her son. _"Bitch, you're about to get a reality check." _she thought, glaring at her. "Food's almost ready." Gemma called out, from the dining room, a few minutes later. Jax and Juice claimed their seats, then as everyone sat down, the door bell rang. "Jackson, how 'bout you get that, then we'll eat."

Jax gave Gemma a funny look, then got up, and as soon as he opened the door, his jaw dropped a little. "Hey…" was all that came out of his mouth.

"Hi, Jax… long time, no see."

"Amanda, what are you doing here?"

"We're here for dinner, Stud." Evelyn said, smacking his chest as she walked into the house.

"Hey, Miri." he nodded.

"Hello, Jax."

"Come in." he pointed behind him. "Everyone is at the table."

"Okay, thanks."

As soon as Miriam walked in, Jax turned his attention to Amanda. "Wow." he looked at her from head to toe. "You look beautiful."

"Thanks." she blushed.

"Gemma told me you were in town."

"Yep, for Nana's birthday bash and the welcome home party, for you and the club."

Once both of them locked eyes from the awkward silence, they were interrupted. "Jax!" Ima kind of yelled. "What are you doing?"

"Nothing." he groaned, then looked at Amanda as he shut and locked the door. "Come on." he put his hand on the small of her back. "Dinner's ready."

Gemma had a huge grin on her face, seeing Ima looking pissed off, and watching Jax and Amanda walking so close together as they walked in the dining room. _"You're gonna lose him, you porn slut, and I can't wait."_ she thought to herself.

"Hi, guys." Amanda waved. "Hugs all around, after dinner."

"Can't wait." Clay smiled. "It's good to see you, Baby Girl."

"Good to see you too." she nodded. "All of you." she made a face, when she locked eyes with Ima. "Well, most of you."

Jax chuckled, then Gemma spoke up. "Manda, why don't you sit down next to Miri."

"Okay." she sat down and noticed that she was sitting across from Jax, then everyone started eating.

"So, how long are you staying, Love?" Chibs asked, breaking the silence.

"Until next Sunday." Amanda shrugged, then noticed Miriam and Juice making googly eyes at each other.

"Well, Baby." Gemma took a sip of her drink. "I think you and Miri, should stay a little bit longer."

"I concur." Miriam nodded.

"I won't be able to."

"Why not?" Tig asked.

"Because." Amanda started. "I have an important doctor's appointment that Monday."

"What's wrong with you?"

Amanda saw the concern on Jax's face. "Oh, nothing." she lied. "It's just an annual check up, but I cancelled it three times already, so I have to go this time."

"How about after your appointment, you come back here?" Gemma suggested.

"Yeah, you have to." Lyla nodded. "Both of you are in the wedding."

"Then we'll definitely be back." Miriam nodded.

Amanda took a deep breath. "Okay, after my visit." she glanced over at Jax. "We will."

During dinner, Amanda ignored the glares from Ima and kept locking eyes with Jax or she was looking at Abel, but when dinner was over, and after Amanda gave the guys their hugs, and they moved to the living room, the ladies - minus Ima, because she had nothing better to do than to hang all over Jax, were still sitting at the dinner table, either drinking coffee or wine.

"So, Manda." Lyla started. "Do you have anyone special in your life?"

"Besides Miri?" she said, making them laugh. "Yeah, I have a boyfriend and his name is Joel."

Gemma noticed Miriam rolled her eyes, then raised her eyebrow. "What?"

"Yes, Joel is her boyfriend, but they haven't talked in three days." Miriam shook her head. "And he doesn't even know that she's here."

Amanda glared at her best friend. "We're fine."

"Yeah, Silly Ass, keep telling yourself that."

Evelyn stood up. "We'll I'm gonna get going." she reached in her pocket and pulled out a key, then set it in front of Amanda. "Here… good night."

"Good night, Nana." Amanda and Miriam both said, with a smile.

"Bye everyone." Evelyn waved, then walked out of the house.

"She's going to love her party." Lyla said, then took a drink of her coffee.

"And she should." Gemma chuckled. "Turning seventy - five is a big deal."

"Yeah." Amanda agreed. "Did you invite my mother and… Troy?"

"I did and Renee knows about it, but who knows if they'll show up." Gemma paused. "Which reminds me… I went to go visit Gavin, not too long ago."

"Yeah?" Amanda raised her eyebrow. "How's my dad doing?"

"He's alright… good as he can be."

"Where is your father?" Lyla asked.

"Actually." Miriam laughed. "Both of our dad's are sitting pretty in cells - right next to each other, in San Quentin, but I really don't give a flying fuck about mine."

"Okay." Lyla nodded. "What'd they do?"

"It's kinda like how Lenny the Pimp was arrested." Amanda started. "Isaac and my dad got arrested for "allegedly." she used her quotation fingers. "Killing three security guards in Stockton."

Gemma kind of slammed her coffee cup down on the table. "I truly believe that both of them were set up."

"Yep." Amanda nodded. "And the Feds tried to get them to rat on the club, but they didn't."

"How long do they have to stay in there?"

Amanda glanced up at Lyla. "Life - without the possibility of parole."

"Wow." she shook her head, a little. "That's crazy."

"Excuse me." Miriam stood up. "I need some air." then she walked outside.

Lyla gave Gemma and Amanda a questioning look, then Amanda waved her hand. "Miri's father is a sensitive subject for her and it goes way beyond her teen years, not because he was a part of the club, but because he was never there for her, and when he got locked up, that was just the icing on the cake."

"Miri's got abandonment issues." Gemma whispered.

"Oh, okay." Lyla nodded.

A few minutes later, Jax walked into the dining room and Gemma looked up. "What's up, Jackson?"

"Just wanted to say bye and thanks for dinner. I'm taking Ima back to the clubhouse. Are you still keeping Abel tonight?"

"Yeah, he'll be fine."

"Thanks." Jax bent down and gave Gemma a kiss on the cheek, then winked at Amanda. "I'm glad you're home, Manda."

"Yeah, me too." she smiled. "See you later, Jax." then him and Ima left.

"Where's Miri?" Juice asked, looking around.

"She's outside and a little upset." Amanda pointed towards the back door.

"Why?"

Amanda sighed. "We were talking about my dad and Isaac."

"Oh." he nodded, then walked outside. Juice found Miriam sitting over by the gazebo on the swing. "Hey, are you okay?"

She looked up at him and gave a weak smile. "Yeah, I'll be fine."

"Manda told me." he sat down next to her. "Do you want to talk about it?"

"It's stuff you already know."

"When's the last time you seen Isaac?"

"It was once - a few weeks after he got locked up. Ever since then, he'd send me letters or call, but I don't write back, or answer any of his calls." Miriam wiped her face. "Let's talk about something else."

"Okay." Juice started to think. "Why does Manda have to go to the doctor?" Miriam looked at him with a blank stare. "What? Is it bad?"

"Alright." she heavily sighed. "I'll tell you, but you have to swear you can't tell anyone, because I want Amanda to enjoy her little vacation."

Juice put up his hand up. "I swear… I will not say anything. You can trust me, Babe."

Miriam took a deep breath. "Amanda is sick."

"How sick?"

"Well, she's not exactly sick, but she's the kind of sick, that if she doesn't get a heart transplant, soon, then she'll die." his jaw dropped as tears were rolling down her cheeks. "She's on the list, but it's a mile long… and she's on a bunch of medications that's keeping her heart from giving out."

"Oh, shit." Juice shook his head. "I can't… I can't believe this."

"Yeah, I didn't take it that well the first time she told me. And there's something else going on with her, but she won't tell me."

"What do you think it is?"

"I don't know, but I bet it's serious." she looked over at Juice. "Is it okay, if I stay with you tonight?"

"Yeah." he gave her a kiss on her lips. "Because I was just gonna ask you the same thing."

"Well, Amanda and I are sharing the room at Nana's, so at the clubhouse?"

"That's fine." he nodded.

...

After Amanda went into the bathroom, she heard Abel making baby noises and giggling, so she went into his room. "Hey, Little Man." she smiled, seeing Abel stand up in his crib, clapping. "Long time, no see… I bet you're glad that your daddy's home."

"Dad… eee." Abel giggled, then held his hands in the air. "Mama."

"No, no, Abel… I'm not your mommy."

"Well, you should be." Gemma said, walking into the room. "I bet you'd be a great mother to my grandson."

"He's a great kid… he looks happy and healthy."

"And he called you mama." Gemma shook her head. "He doesn't even call Ima that, and she's around him more than you, not much, but still."

"No Wendy?"

"Hell no… she went to rehab and we haven't heard from her since, so who knows where that druggie whore is." Gemma gave Abel a kiss on her forehead. "Go back to sleep, Mister."

"Good night, Little Buddy." Amanda softly ruffled his hair, then her and Gemma walked out of the room, and they went back into the dining room to sit down as Juice and Miriam walked in.

"Hey." Miriam looked at Amanda. "I'm going to hang out with Juice tonight."

"Oh, okay."

"So, don't wait up… thanks for dinner, Gemma."

"You're welcome, Miri." then once her and Juice walked out the door, Gemma stood up. "More coffee?"

"Sure." Amanda nodded, then Gemma poured some more coffee in her cup, Amanda's, and Lyla's.

...

A few hours later, Amanda said her goodbyes to everyone, then walked out to the car. "You know… a pretty girl like you, shouldn't be outside all alone."

"Oh, yeah?" she chuckled, crossing her arms over her chest. "Am I gonna get kidnapped?"

"You could."

"I bet." she playfully rolled her eyes. "What are you doing here, Jax?"

He got off his bike and walked up to her. "I don't know, I just has a feeling that you were still here."

"Uh-huh… was that feeling Miri, by any chance?"

"About 63.7 percent of it."

"Oh, okay." she laughed.

"Okay, okay, you caught me. I knew you were still here and I came back over, so I could follow you home, and make sure you're safe."

"Jax, I'm sure I'll be fine."

"Maybe, but regardless, I'm still following you." he smirked. "So, it looks like you don't have a choice."

"Fine, you butthead." she laughed, shaking her head, opening the car door. "Let's go then." as Amanda got into the car, Jax got back on his bike, then when she drove off, he followed close behind her.

...

"This is me." Amanda said, as they walked up to the door at Evelyn's house.

"Do I need to go in and check anything?"

"No, no… it's okay. Nana's in there asleep."

Jax rubbed his thumb on her cheek. "I'm really glad you're here… and thanks for coming to visit me when you did. It meant a lot to me."

"You're welcome."

Jax sighed. "I better get going… see you tomorrow?"

"You betcha."

"A'ight." he smiled. "Good night, Beautiful."

"Good night, Jackson." she told him, then went into the house. After she heard his motorcycle leave, she locked up, went into the room, and went to sleep, thinking about Jax and what had happened when she went to go visit him.


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I own NOTHING from Sons of Anarchy… just my OC's. Thanks!

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><p>…Chapter 3…<p>

For the next couple of days, everyone was crazy busy - buying food, buying drinks and lots of alcohol, decorations and fixing up everything for both parties at the clubhouse.

Plus when there was little time, Evelyn, Gemma, Amanda, Miriam, and Lyla went out shopping to buy new outfits and they got their nails done, then got ready to party.

...

As soon as all the women got to the clubhouse, the party was in full swing. Evelyn even wore a party hat and a colorful ribbon that said "It's My Birthday!" on it. She was determined to have a good time.

Every so often, Amanda would feel Jax's eyes on her, but when she'd make eye contact, Ima would glare back or do something with Jax, like, kiss and hang all over him, to make her look away. All the stupid stuff Ima was doing, was very amusing to Amanda, and she'd stare at Jax to see what Ima would do, and of course, the dumb bitch took the bait every time.

As Amanda was about to go inside the clubhouse, her phone rang, so she took it out of her pocket, and pressed the talk button. "Hello?"

"Hello, Amanda."

"Hey, Dr. Nelson." she quickly walked away from everyone, so nobody could hear her. "What's up?"

"I called to tell you." he heavily sighed. "The participant for your heart donation - fell through and it some how pushed you back to the bottom of the list." Dr. Nelson heard silence. "You still there, Amanda?"

"Yeah, yeah… I'm here."

"I'm sorry, I wish I had better news."

"Yeah, me too, but thanks for letting me know."

"Until we figure out something else, you take care of yourself."

"I will… bye, Dr. Nelson."

"Bye." he told her, then she hung up her phone, and went somewhere to think.

...

Miriam walked up to Jax, Opie, Chibs, Juice, Kozik, Happy, and Ima. "Have any of you seen Amanda?" Ima just rolled her eyes, then Miriam gave her a 'you-gotta-problem-with-that' look, making Ima shift her eyes away, but she still kept a firm grasp on Jax. "So, have any of you?"

"When's the last time you saw her?" Juice asked.

"An hour ago… I saw her talking on the phone."

Jax wiggled out of Ima's grasp. "Let's go find her." then Miriam and the guys went looking around Amanda. After ten minutes, Jax spotted her, then pointed. "She's up on the roof… I'll go talk to her.

"No." Miriam grabbed his cut, pulling him back. "I'll go." she nodded her head towards Ima. "She looks like she's gonna go crazy psycho person on you, if you go talk to Amanda."

Jax glanced over at Ima, who had a scowl on her face, then he heavily sighed. "You're right… you go."

"Be right back." Miriam said, before walking into the building, and then she went up the ladder. "Hey." she sat down next to Amanda. "What are you doing up here?"

"Just thinking."

"About?"

"How much time I have left on this Earth."

"What?" Miriam's eyes widened. "What do you mean?" Amanda didn't respond. "Tell me, Manda… you're scaring the shit outta me right now."

"How do you think I feel?"

Miriam huffed. "Okay, tell me what happened."

"Dr. Nelson called and the participant for my heart donation fell through." Amanda looked down and took a deep breath. "Which knocked me down to the bottom of the list somehow."

Miriam's face fell, then she put her arm around Amanda's shoulder. "We'll figure something out… I already told you." Miriam felt the tears falling down her cheeks as she heard Amanda sniffling. "You're not gonna die, I won't let you."

"It's hopeless, I'm at the bottom of the list, Miri, and there's been tons of people that has died waiting for their transplants."

"You're not going to be one of them… we'll figure it out when we go to your doctors appointment on Monday."

"I don't want to die." Amanda shook her head. "I have so much to live for and I'm not ready."

"You won't, okay? I'm not ready to lose my best friend." Miriam chuckled a little. "I know something that will make you laugh."

"Yeah? What's that?"

"I was telling the guys I couldn't find you and I saw the look on Jax's face - he was a little worried. Well, he ditched Ima to help me look for you. The look on Ima's face - priceless."

Amanda giggled, shaking her head. "Yeah, that is funny."

"You know… if Jax didn't love you, he wouldn't have gone looking for you."

"Miri, if Jax loved me, he wouldn't be with Ima."

"Touche'."

"Guess what happened before you and Juice left Gemma's?"

"What? You slept with Jax? You kissed him? He kissed you?"

"No." Amanda shook her head. "None of the above."

"Well, then… what?"

"After I went to the bathroom, I went into Abel's room, because he was awake. He was laughing and clapping… and he called me Mama."

"Seriously?"

"Yeah and the thing is, from what Gemma told me, Ima is around Abel all the time, but he doesn't call her that."

"Well, if that adorable little boy calls you mama, then maybe you should be."

"Miri, I don't want to get attached to Abel or him to get attached to me, or anyone else, if I'm just going to die."

"Don't say that."

"It's true, Miri… I'm going to die."

"Manda, I'm telling you right now… you keep thinking that or saying that shit in my presence, it'll just piss me off."

"Sorry."

"Okay, you're forgiven." Miriam stood up. "Come on, we're supposed to be celebrating this double bitchin' party."

"Fine." Amanda stood up, then both of them went over to the ladder.

"Don't forget to smile, Manda, or they'll think something's wrong."

"I got it." she nodded, then they got off the roof, and went back to enjoy the party.

...

Evelyn had a blast, but she was exhausted, so she went home around nine - thirty pm, then after Evelyn's friends went home as well, the club's party was in full swing. There was a bunch of alcohol, food, crow - eaters, and sweet - butts galore.

Miriam mostly hung around Juice, while Amanda was by herself, on the picnic table, drinking some water. About five minutes later, her phone rang. She took it out of her pocket and pressed the talk button. "Hello?"

"Hey, Amanda."

"What's up, Troy… how are you?"

"I'm good, but look, your mom wanted me to tell you why we couldn't make it to your grandma's party."

"Why can't Mom tell me herself?" Amanda paused. "Or even tell Grandma why?"

"Because she drank too much and she passed out."

"Oh, that's awesome, so did both of you get drunk so you couldn't make it?"

"Not exactly, Renee was drinking at her company party, and like I said, she drank too much."

"Oh, okay." Amanda slightly shook her head.

"So how was Evie's party?"

"It was good and she had a good time."

"Okay, your mother and I, will be sending her present in the mail."

"I'll let her know."

"That's fine, I'll talk to you later, Amanda."

"Bye, Troy." she said, then hung up her phone, and sighed.

"Hey." she heard next to her. "You want some company?"

"Sure, Jax." she patted the spot next to her on the table.

"What you doing?" he asked, sitting down.

"Nothing really, but Troy just called telling me why him and Mom didn't make it to Grandma's party."

"What was their excuse this time?"

"Apparently, Mom got smashed at her company party, and she passed out."

Jax chuckled. "That sounds like her."

"Yep." Amanda nodded. "Sure does."

"You want some beer?" he held out his Budwiser bottle to her.

"Nah, I got me some water."

"Fine." he shrugged, taking a sip. "More for me."

"So." Amanda nudged Jax's arm. "How come you're not over there with your Old Lady?"

Jax frowned. "Ima is not my Old Lady."

"Then why are you with her?"

"Because… the person really want, I can't have, and there's only one woman I want to be with, but I can't."

"Why can't you?"

Jax looked at Amanda right in her eyes. "Because she's leaving next Sunday."

Amanda opened her mouth to say something, but nothing would come out, then suddenly, her phone rang with a text message. She opened it up to read it, then she set it next to her, and sighed. "Shit."

"What?"

"That was Joel."

Jax raised his eyebrow. "Who's Joel?"

"My boyfriend… he sent a text saying that he's going over to my house tomorrow, well, I'm not gonna be there, and he doesn't even know that I'm here." before Jax could respond, Amanda cut him off. "Hey, could you take me to the prison to see my Dad, in the morning?"

"What time?"

"About eight."

Jax took a sip of his beer. "I can do that… just me and you?"

"Yeah." she nodded. "It's just, I haven't seen him in a while and since I'm in town, might as well, ya know?"

"Yep, I'm sure he'll be glad to see you."

"Hey, Manda?"

"Yeah?" both her and Jax looked over as Juice walked up to them.

"You might want to take Miri home."

"Why?" Amanda chuckled. "Did she pass out?"

"Right on the pool table."

"Alright, I'll start the car, and you go get her." Juice nodded, then walked back into the clubhouse. Amanda sighed, getting off the picnic table. "I guess I'll see you tomorrow morning, but for now." she grabbed his hand. "Walk me to my car?"

"Sure." he hopped off and both of them walked over to the Challenger, still holding hands. "This yours?"

"Ha! I wish." she let go of him, opened the door, and started the engine, then stood up, right in front of Jax. "It's a sexy car, but it's just a rental." she frowned. "And I'll be sad, once I have to give it back."

"I'm sure you'll get one." Jax chuckled. "One day."

"Yeah, one day."

A few minutes later, Juice came out, carrying Miriam bridal style, and carefully put her in the passenger seat. "I think she'll be out for the rest of the night." Juice said, shutting the door.

"You're gonna have to come with me, Juice… I can't carry her drunk ass in the house by myself."

Juice laughed, then Jax nodded. "We'll both go."

"Awesome." she got in the car and rolled down the window. "Follow me." after she saw Jax and Juice get on their bikes, she drove off, with both of them behind her, and Ima was watching the whole thing.

...

"Thanks guys… for carrying Miri into the house."

"No problem." Juice laughed. "But she's gonna have a killer hangover in the morning."

"Yeah, she will." Amanda agreed, then looked at Jax. "Don't forget… eight am."

"I'll be here."

"Okay." she smiled. "Good night, guys."

"Good night." both of them said, then Amanda shut the door, and they walked to their bikes.

"What's going on tomorrow?" Juice asked, putting on his helmet.

"Manda wants me to take her to see Gavin."

"Oh… and what about Ima?"

"What about her?" Jax shrugged. "Amanda's leaving next Sunday and I'm going to spend as much time as I can with her."

"And you should." Juice nodded, remembering what Miriam told him about what's been going on with Amanda. "Life's too short and you should spend it with the person you really love."

Jax looked at him incredulously. "What?"

"Just saying." Juice shrugged, then both of them got on their bikes, and went back to the clubhouse.


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: I own NOTHING from Sons of Anarchy… just my OC's. Thanks!

* * *

><p>…Chapter 4…<p>

"Holy hell." Miriam mumbled, slowly walking into the kitchen, the next morning.

"Good morning, Sunshine!" Amanda laughed, then Miriam flipped her off, making her laugh even more. "Yep, I love you too, Miri."

"Wait, hold the phone…" Miriam looked around. "How did I… how did I get to Nana's?"

"Juice carried you from the pool table to the car, then from the car, to the bed… him and Jax."

"Okay." Miriam leaned up against the counter. "I may have drank a little_ too_ much."

"Ya think?" Amanda laughed.

"Oh, bite me." Miriam waved her hand, then crossed her arms over her chest. "So, why are you up so early?"

"Jax is taking me to see my dad."

"Oh." she nodded.

"While we're here are you gonna visit _your_ dad?"

"No… why should I?"

"I don't know." Amanda shrugged. "Just think about it." suddenly, both of them heard a motorcycle pulling up, and Amanda smiled. "See you later, Miri."

"Yeah." she waved her hand. "Have fun."

"Yeah, you too." Amanda said, before walking outside.

"Good morning, Gorgeous."

"Morning, Jackson." she smiled, walking up to him.

"How's Miri?"

"Very hungover and very cranky."

"I bet she is." Jax chuckled, handing Amanda his extra helmet. She put it on, then got on the back of the bike. "Hold on tight." he said, then after Amanda wrapped her arms around his waist, Jax rode off.

...

Miriam had taken a long shower to help with her hangover, and it helped a little, but not much. When she walked out of the bathroom, she saw Juice laying across the bed, looking through a magazine. "When did you get here?"

"About ten minutes ago… Evie let me in."

"Oh." she sat down next to him.

"How do you feel?"

"A little bit better." Juice chuckled, then she pushed him. "It's your fault I drank all those shots."

"Okay." he put his hands up. "It was kinda my fault."

"Kinda?"

"Alright." he laughed. "It was all my fault… I'll take full responsibility for your hangover."

"That's what I thought."

"Okay, Babe, I'll make it up to you, but first, what do you wanna do today?"

"Let me think." Miriam tapped her fingers on her chin. "I'm sure Manda will be with Jax all day and Nana will be out with her poker buddies, so how 'bout me and you stay here… watch movies and just relax."

Juice sat up and gave Miriam a kiss on her forehead. "Sounds like a plan."

...

"Nervous?" Jax asked, noticing Amanda tapping her knee - non stop.

"A little."

"You'll be okay and Gavin will be happy to see you."

"I know." she took a deep breath.

Jax pushed Amanda's hair behind her ear and noticed the look on her face. "What's wrong?"

"I'm…" she stopped herself and shook her head. "Never mind, I'll tell you later."

"Tell me now."

Suddenly, they heard a buzzing noise, followed by a guard walking in, and Gavin behind him. As the guard was taking off Gavin, he had the biggest smile on his face, seeing his daughter smiling at him. "Sawyer, you got ten minutes." the guard said, before walking back through the door.

"Amanda!" Gavin gave her a hug.

"Hi, Daddy."

He backed up to look at her. "You look so beautiful, since the last time I seen you… so grown up."

"Yeah." she nodded, then sat down.

"Jackson."

"Hey, Gavin." both of them shook hands, then both of them sat down, with Gavin on the other side of the table.

"So, what's going on? What's new?"

"Well, Dad." Amanda started. "Nana's seventy - fifth birthday party was yesterday, along with the clubs party."

"Did Renee show up?"

"No… Mom and Troy couldn't make it, because apparently, Mom got smashed at her company party."

"Figures." Gavin shook his head. "As long as Nana had a good time, that's all that matters, right?"

"Right?" Amanda agreed.

"So, how are you, Jax?" he noticed the V.P. still on his cut. "You ain't Prez yet?"

"Not yet." Jax chuckled. "Not sure when Clay's gonna step down, but it should be soon."

"Well, even though I'm stuck in here, you got my vote, and I know you'll take care of my little girl. I know she'd be in good hands."

Jax glanced over at Amanda. "Manda would definitely be taken care of and protected. I'd never let anything happen to her."

"Good." Gavin nodded. "One last thing I should worry about."

"Dad… how's Isaac?" Amanda asked, changing the subject.

"He's doing okay. He talks about Miriam all the time and he really misses her, but she never answers his calls or writes him back, or even come see him."

"I asked her if she was gonna visit him, but I'll talk to her again, and I'll have Juice talk to her too, but don't tell Isaac, because I don't want to get his hopes up, just to get shot down, ya know?"

"I won't say anything to him. " Gavin nodded, then noticed the look on Amanda's face, then glanced over at Jax. "Can I have my last few minutes with Amanda, if you don't mind?"

"Yeah." he stood up, shook Gavin's hand. "Take care of yourself."

"You too, Jackson."

"Manda, I'll be waiting outside." she nodded, then Jax kissed her cheek, and walked out.

Once Gavin and Amanda were alone, his face went serious. "Alright, now… tell me what's going on."

"What are you talking about?"

Gavin sighed. "Don't bullshit me, Amanda. I may be stuck in this hell hole for the rest of my life, but I can tell when something is wrong with my daughter."

Amanda took a deep breath. "Well, according to my doctor, there's something wrong with my heart, so I was put on the transplant list. I had gotten a call last night that the donor fell through, and I was bumped to the bottom of the list." Gavin opened his mouth to say something, but he just couldn't get the words, then Amanda grabbed his hand, and gave it a light squeeze. "Daddy, don't worry about me, I'll be just fine. My doctor is already looking into putting me up with another donor, so I'm going to be fine." she lied. "I don't want you to worry, because I'll be getting a new heart real soon."

"You sure?"

"Yes, Daddy."

"Does Jax know?"

"No." she shook her head. "I don't want him to know. I just want to get better, I don't want him or anyone else to worry about me."

A few seconds later, they heard that same buzzing noise, then the guard walked in. "Time's up, Sawyer… say your goodbyes and let's go."

Both Gavin and Amanda stood up, then Gavin gave her a hug. "Thanks for visiting me."

"You're welcome, Daddy."

Gavin gave her a kiss on her forehead. "Take extra care of yourself and let me know how you are, after your transplant."

"Sure." she nodded. "I will."

"Bye, Princess." Gavin smiled, then walked over to the guard, got his handcuffs back on, and walked through the door.

Amanda took a few deep breaths, then walked out of the prison doors. As she walked over to Jax, she was about to collapse, but Jax caught her in time, and grabbed her arm. "Shit." she muttered.

"Hey, I got you." he helped her up to her feet. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, yeah… I just feel a little lightheaded."

"Do you need to go to the doctor? Or the emergency room?"

"No, no, no." she waved her hand. "I just need to eat or lay down, but I'll be okay."

"That's fine, but I'm not leaving you… we could hang out at a hotel or something, as long as you want."

"What about Abel?"

"My mom has him and her knowing that I'm with you." Jax chuckled. "She'll be glad to watch him, until whenever."

"Okay." Amanda smiled. "Let's go."

"Are you okay to ride?"

"Yeah, I'm fine." she nodded, then Jax helped her get on the back of the bike, and they took off.

...

Jax took Amanda to the Red Lion Hotel in Sacramento and just in case someone was trying to find them, he used fake names. While Amanda was taking a nap, Jax went up to the convenient store to get them some snacks and drinks, plus he bought a couple of lottery tickets.

As he walked outside and got on his bike, his phone rang. Groaning loudly, knowing the ringtone, he took it out of his pocket, and pressed the talk button. "What's up, Ima?"

"You didn't come by the clubhouse… where are you, Baby?"

Jax cringed, hearing her call him Baby, it was like, it wasn't right, coming out of her mouth, then he took a deep breath. "Yeah, there's some shit I need to deal with for the club."

"When are you coming back?"

"Not sure… it's gonna take a while." he paused. "I'll call you later." and before Ima could respond, he hung up on her, then turned off his phone. After he put his helmet on and put the bag of goodies in a secure place, he started his bike, and rode off.

...

Juice walked into the room with a tray and set it in front of Miriam, on the bed. "Thanks, Juice." she smiled, seeing a bowl of chicken noodle soup, 7-Up, and some crackers.

"No problem, Babe." he laid down on the other side of her and grabbed the remote. "Anything good on TV?" he asked, changing the channels.

"I couldn't find anything, but good luck."

"Okay." he slightly nodded. "So… why was Manda on the roof yesterday?"

Miriam put her spoon down, pushed the tray away from her, and took a deep breath. "The participant for Amanda's heart donation fell through and it knocked her on the bottom of the list."

"Are you shitting me?"

"No." Miriam shook her head. "And it's killing me, because I don't know what to do. I'm trying to stay strong and be positive, but I'm terrified of of the possibility of losing my best friend, because what if she's right? She was saying - she might die waiting for another transplant. Manda thinks it's hopeless and I'm trying not to, but it's just hard." Juice reached over and wiped the tears from Miriam's face with his thumb, then she slowly shook her head. "I just… I just don't know what to do or say to her anymore, to help her feel better about this fucked up situation."

"Wouldn't it be best if the club knew about it? Especially, Jax?"

"Why?"

"To give Amanda support."

"Yeah." she nodded. "All of them should know, but Amanda should be the one to say something, and she'll probably do it, after her doctors appointment."

"Are you two definitely coming back?"

"We have to… for Lyla and Ope's wedding."

"That's right." Juice nodded. "You know, once everyone finds out about Amanda's condition, they'll flip."

"Yeah, I know… it just sucks."

"Well." Juice laid back down. "Let's hope that at her doctors appointment, she has good news."

"Yeah, let's hope." Miriam nodded, then went back to eating her soup, while Juice changed the channels on TV.

...

Jax walked back into his hotel room and saw Amanda on the bed, sleeping so peacefully. He put the drinks in the little fridge and set the rest of the snacks on the table, then he went into the bathroom to call Gemma.

"Hello, Jackson." she said, after three rings.

"Hey, Mom… can you do me a favor?"

"Does this favor have anything to do with Ima going ape shit, looking for you?"

"Part of it." Jax chuckled. "Can you keep Abel for a couple of days?"

"A couple days? What are you up to?"

"After I took Amanda to see Gavin, she sorta collapsed, but I caught her, so she didn't fall, and she wasn't feeling good, so we're gonna chill out of town."

"Oh, so you're with Amanda, huh? Well then, I'll be glad to watch my grandson… maybe you two can make me a granddaughter, while you're there."

"Very funny."

"You two have a good time and don't worry about Abel, he'll be fine."

"Bye, Mom."

"Bye, Baby." she told him, then he hung up his phone, and shut it off.

Walking out of the bathroom, he went over to shut the blinds and lock the door, then he took off his cut, and put it on the chair. He took off his shoes and removed his belt and everything else he wouldn't need at the moment, dropping it on the side of the bed.

"Amanda." he whispered, laying down next to her.

She mumbled something he couldn't understand, then she rolled over into his arms. "I love you." she mumbled.

"I love you too." he whispered back, even though he knew she wouldn't hear it. Jax closed his eyes, and held her tight, then fell asleep.


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: I own NOTHING from Sons of Anarchy… just my OC's. Thanks!

* * *

><p>…Chapter 5…<p>

By the time Amanda woke up, it was dark outside, and she almost forgot where she was until she saw the receipt, and read the names of what the room was under, which made her giggle. After she grabbed her phone, she called a number, and walked into the bathroom.

"Hello?"

"Hey, Juice… it's me."

"What's up, Manda? Miri's asleep."

"Okay, good. Can you do me a favor?"

"Sure, what is it?"

"I need you to talk to Miri and convince her somehow to go visit Isaac."

"I'll try, but you and I both know she won't."

"At least try."

"I will." Juice sighed. "So, where are you? Ima's being a pain in the ass because Jax isn't at the clubhouse or anywhere else for that matter."

Amanda chuckled. "Jax and I… are just hanging out. I sorta felt lightheaded and almost fainted, but Jax caught me before I fell to the ground."

"Was it because of your heart?"

Amanda's eyes widened. "What?"

"Oh, shit… I'm sorry, Manda."

"Who told you about my heart? No, wait, dumb question… it was Miri, right?"

Juice heavily sighed. "Yeah, she told me, but she was upset, I mean, I wasn't gonna tell nobody, it ain't my place."

"Okay, well, I don't want anyone to know, until I'm ready."

"Yeah, I get that."

"Thanks, Juice… and don't forget to talk to Miri about visiting her dad."

"Okay, no problem… bye."

"Bye." Amanda told him, then hung up her phone, and walked out of the bathroom. She grabbed the remote and laid down next to Jax, watching TV.

...

"Who was that on the phone?" Miriam asked, rolling over.

"That was Amanda."

"Oh, what is she up to?"

"She's with Jax - hanging out and she wanted me to convince you to go visit your dad."

Miriam's eyes shot open. "Are you serious? That's why she called you?"

"Yeah and I really think you should visit him, even if it's for five minutes."

"I don't know, Juice."

"Look, either I'll go with you or Amanda will, either way, you should go visit him."

Miriam sighed. "I'll think about it."

"That's all we ask."

"Alright... so, where is Jax and Manda?"

"She didn't say, she just said they were hanging out, because she fainted or something."

"But she's okay, right?"

Juice shrugged. "She sounded fine to me."

"Well, as long as she's with Jax, then she'll definitely be fine."

"I have a question." Juice started. "Let's say hypothetically… Amanda doesn't get the transplant she needs, how long will she last?"

"It depends, because a lot of things can trigger her heart to stop completely, so she needs to stay stress free, but I don't know how that will be possible… I'm sure she's stressed out about being knocked to the bottom of that stupid list, I know I would be." Miriam shook her head. "I don't know what I'd do without my best friend."

"Hey, does Amanda really have to go to her doctors appointment in L.A? I mean, can't she just go to St. Thomas?"

"I can talk to her, because it would be easier, instead of going all the way over there, and then come all the way back for Lyla and Ope's wedding."

"Yeah… see?"

Miriam laid her head on Juice's chest and yawned. "Yeah, I'll talk to her… whenever I see her."

...

As Amanda was about to fall asleep, her cell phone rang, so she reached over, and pressed the talk button. "Hello?"

"Where the hell are you?"

"Oh, hey Joel… what's up?"

"I told you I was coming over, so where the hell are you?"

"I'm with Miri."

"And where is that?"

"Don't worry about it, Joel, I'll be home soon."

"How 'bout you get home now?"

"I can't." Amanda groaned. "Look, I'll call you later." and before Joel could respond, she hung up on him, and turned off her phone.

"Babe." Jax mumbled. "Who was that?"

"It was Joel." she sighed. "He wanted to know where I was, but I didn't tell him."

"Good." Jax pulled Amanda closer to him. "He don't need to know where you are." he paused. "Hey, what were you gonna tell me earlier?"

"When?"

"Before your dad walked in."

"Oh… it was nothing." she lied.

"You sure?"

"Yeah, nothing to worry about." she yawned. "I'm tired, so good night."

Jax kissed her shoulder blade and buried his face in her hair. "Good night."

* * *

><p>Jax and Amanda pulled up to Evelyn's house, two days later. "Thanks for our little getaway." Amanda said, getting off the bike. "I had a good time, just being with you."<p>

"Yeah, me too… we should go again sometime."

"Yeah, maybe when I come back next week."

"I'll see you later, Manda." suddenly, Jax grabbed Amanda's hand, pulling her to him, and he softly kissed her lips, then rested his forehead on hers. "I'll give you a call later, okay?"

"Okay, Fred Flintstone."

Jax laughed. "You saw the receipt?"

"Uh-huh." she nodded. "It was cute."

Jax gave her another kiss. "I'll talk to you later."

"Bye, Jax." she said, then she walked into the house as Jax took off. "Nana?" she looked around. "Miri?"

"Hey, Honey."

"Hey, Nana… where's Miri?"

"Out with Juice… I think they went to the prison to visit her father."

"Oh, good, I hope she sees him."

Evelyn crossed her arms over her chest. "So, where were you?"

Amanda smiled. "With Jax… him and I were at a hotel in Sacramento, just enjoying each others company."

"Did you have a good time?"

"Of course… we relaxed and we watched movies."

"That's good." Evelyn smiled. "And regardless who he's with, his heart belongs to you. He loves you… you can see it in his eyes." Amanda just nodded, then Evelyn waved her hand. "Okay, no more busting your balls about it." she grabbed her sunglasses and her purse. "I'll be out with my poker buddies, so don't wait up."

"Okay, Nana… have fun." Amanda laughed, then after Evelyn left, Amanda locked up, and went into her room.

...

"Well, hello there, Jackson." Gemma smirked. "You're back."

"Yeah, how's Abel?"

"He's at the house with Neeta… so, did you and Manda have fun?"

"Yeah, we just relaxed."

Gemma looked passed Jax. "A very pissed off porn star, headed our way, in 3… 2… 1."

"Jax!" Ima sort of yelled. "Where have you been?"

"I was out, doing some club business."

"How come you couldn't call me back?"

"I had no signal where I was." he started walking towards the clubhouse.

"Jax!" she stomped her foot.

"Just fucking drop it, Ima!" he yelled back, before walking inside.

...

After Amanda got out of the shower, and put on some clothes, she went back into her suitcase for a pair of socks. All of a sudden, her chest started hurting and she couldn't really breathe, so she started to panic, thinking it was her heart, then she got into the car, and drove herself to St. Thomas.

As she was at the front desk filling out paper work, she saw something out of the corner of her eye, then she did a double take. _"No fucking way._" she thought to herself, thinking her eyes were playing tricks on her. _"It couldn't be."_

"Excuse me, Miss?"

"Huh?" Amanda got pulled out of her thoughts. "Yes?"

"Have a seat and a nurse will take you to your room."

"Okay, thanks." she nodded, then she skimmed through her papers, seeing that she was done, so left the clipboard on the counter. As she sat down, she looked over and what she saw, not even a few minutes ago, was gone.

As she was waiting, her phone rang. _"Jax"_ was flashing on the screen, and she wasn't sure if she should answer it, especially while she was in the emergency room. Amanda took a deep breath and pressed the button to make it go to her voice mail.

"Amanda Sawyer?" a nurse said, walking up to her. "Your room is ready."

"Okay." she stood up and followed the nurse into one of the exam rooms.

"Go ahead and have a seat, the doctor will be right with you."

"Alright." Amanda sat down on the table as the nurse walked out. She sat there, taking deep breaths, trying not to make this ER visit bigger than what it was, looking at the calendar in her phone.

"Amanda Sawyer? When'd you get back in town?"

Her eyes widened as she looked up, almost dropping her phone. "Shit… I could ask you the same question, _Tara_." she crossed her arms over her chest. "So that was you… that I saw, I thought I was trippin' or something."

"Yeah, I'm working in the ER for a few days."

"So… who's the kid you were holding? Is it Jax's?"

"Actually, he's not. His father is… not around."

"Oh."

"So, what's problem?" Tara asked, looking for a pen in her pockets.

"Okay, to make a long story short." Amanda took a deep breath. "I have a bad heart and recently, I found out from my doctor back in LA that, the participant for my donation fell through, which knocked me to the bottom of the list. The reason why I'm here, I felt chest pain, and I couldn't breathe, so I panicked."

Tara was looking at her chart and her eyes kind of widened. "And you're…"

"Yes, I am… but I'd greatly appreciate it, if nobody knew about _that_, because with my bad heart, I'm not gonna get my hopes up, until I know I'm okay with a brand new one, so for now, just forget about it, and as far as I know, everything is fine."

"Okay, then."

"And also… the whole doctor - patient confidentiality will definitely apply, because besides my doctors, only two people know about my heart condition."

"Who knows about the other… thing?"

"Of course my doctors, but for now, only you. Will it stay that way?"

"Yes." Tara nodded her head. "But you need to do something for me."

"What?" Amanda raised her eyebrow.

"I don't want anyone in Charming to know that I'm here. If I happen to bump into them on the street or something, then that's fine, but until then… nobody know's I'm here."

"Deal." Amanda slightly nodded. "Now, tell me why I'm having this damn chest pain."

"First, tell me who the father is…"

* * *

><p>AN: Trust me peeps, I have a plan for this, and it's gonna be a doozy! And don't worry, it'll have a happy ending. Don't forget to R&R!


	6. Chapter 6

Disclaimer: I own NOTHING from Sons of Anarchy… just my OC's. Thanks!

* * *

><p>…Chapter 6…<p>

"I'm sorry we rode all the way over there, just to sit in the parking lot for three hours." Miriam said, walking into the bedroom.

"It's okay, Babe." Juice sat down on the bed, after he shut the door. "You weren't ready… just try it again another time."

"But…"

"No but's." he shook his head. "At least you took the big step - going over there."

"Yeah." she sat down next to him. "You're right."

Juice rested his hand on Miriam's knee. "Any time you want to go again, I'll be right there."

"Okay." she nodded, then both of them heard the doorbell. "Who could that be?" she asked, walking out of the room, with Juice behind her, then she opened the door, and frowned. "Wow, Joel… what the hell are you doing here?"

"Looking for my girlfriend."

Miriam crossed her arms over her chest. "How do you even know that she's here?"

"I have my sources." Joel smirked. "Now, tell me where she is."

"Look, Man." Juice moved Miriam behind him, leaning up against the door frame. "Amanda's not here, nor will she be here, because we don't know where she is."

Joel glared at him for a few seconds. "If you see her, tell her to call me."

"Yeah, whatever." Juice slammed the door in his face, then locked it.

"God!" Miriam shook her head. "He's such an asshole."

"Yeah, I could tell." Juice took out his cell phone and called Amanda.

"Hello?" she answered, after the third ring.

"Hey, Manda."

"Hey… what' s up, Juice?"

"Whatever you do, do not come back to Evie's… not tonight at least."

"Why?"

"Joel just showed up, looking for you."

"Oh, shit." Amanda groaned. "Okay, I'll stay somewhere out of Charming."

"By yourself?"

"No, I'll call Jax."

"Okay, be careful."

"I will and thanks for the heads up, Juice…"

"You're welcome, bye."

"Okay, bye." she told him, then hung up, and called Jax.

"Hey, I tried calling you earlier… what's up?"

"Can you meet me at our place, Fred Flintstone?"

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah… can you meet me there?"

"Yeah, I'll be there as soon as I can."

"Thank you."

"No problem." Jax said, then hung up his phone.

"What are you smiling about, Jackie Boy?" Chibs chuckled.

"I have somewhere to be and if Ima asks, I'm out doing club shit."

"Aye." Chibs nodded. "Tell Manda I said Hi."

"Will do." Jax chuckled, then walked out of the clubhouse, and over to the office. "Hey, Ma."

"Yes, Jackson?" Gemma said, not looking away from the computer screen.

"Something's wrong with Amanda… so, I'm gonna go meet her, you got Abel?"

"Of course… Abel will be fine."

Jax gave Gemma a kiss on the cheek. "Thanks."

"Just remember." she looked up. "Your son will need a sibling to play with."

Jax groaned. "That's hilarious… bye." then he walked out, got on his bike, and headed to Sacramento.

...

Jax pulled into Red Lion Hotel and saw Amanda sitting inside the Challenger, so he parked next to her, and got into the passenger seat. "Hey… what's wrong?"

Amanda turned to look at him. "I can't go back to Charming… well, not tonight."

"Why not?"

"Well, I was on my way to Nana's and I get a call from Juice. He told me that Joel was there looking for me."

Jax frowned. "He's in town?"

"Evidently, but I don't want to go back to Charming tonight, if he's there."

Jax grabbed Amanda's hand. "So, Wilma." he smirked. "We can stay here… maybe order a pizza, and hide out."

"Yeah." she smiled. "I'd rather be here with you anyway."

Jax reached over and gave Amanda a kiss. "I'll go get our room." he winked, then got out of the car, and walking into the building.

_"Don't do anything strenuous, no heavy lifting... just relax and take it easy."_ Amanda heard Tara's voice in her head, over and over. She couldn't be too upset with her, since she told her that she'd do whatever she can to get her a new heart, and fast.

A few minutes later, Jax came out with a set of keys, and a smile. "Come on, Wilma." he said, after opening her car door.

"Okay." Amanda laughed, getting out.

"We got the same room."

"Awesome." she nodded, then both of them walked over to the room, and Jax opened the door. "Still looks the same." she giggled. "But I'm sure they put new sheets and junk.

"Yeah." Jax shut and locked it. "So, are you hungry?"

"Not really." she sat down on the bed and grabbed the remote. "But I'm sure I'll be hungry soon."

"Okay, then." he chuckled, taking off his cut. He took off his shoes and took everything else off that he didn't need, then laid up against the headboard, pulling Amanda with him. "You comfortable?"

She kicked off her shoes, then laid up against his chest changing the channels. "Uh-huh." there was five seconds of silence, before Amanda spoke again. "Jax, I have a question… it's silly really."

"What is it, Babe?"

"What would you do, if I wasn't here?"

"What? Here in the room?"

"No, no… here as in - no longer living."

"You mean, if you were dead?"

"Yeah."

Jax thought about it for a few seconds. "I don't know what I'd do, if you weren't in my life… why are you asking me this?"

"I was just curious, because nobody knows how long we're gonna live."

"Listen." Jax grabbed her chin to make her look at him. "If you're with me, I promise, Babe, you're gonna live a long and happy life… you, me, Abel, and whatever kids we could have in the future." after a couple of seconds, Jax frowned. "Why are you crying?" he wiped her tears from her cheeks.

"Jax, I…" she started, but before she could respond, Jax's phone rang.

"Ugh, sorry." he groaned. "Let me get this real quick." he took grabbed his phone off the night stand and pressed the talk button. "Yeah?"

"Hey, it's Juice… I know you're with Amanda right now, but you two need to get back to Charming." he paused. "Well, Manda does."

"Why?"

"Miriam got a call from the prison… Isaac was killed."

Jax ran his hand down his face. "Oh, shit."

"What?" Amanda asked. "What is it?"

"Miri is freaking out and she needs Amanda. I mean, she doesn't even want to be around me right now."

"A'ight." Jax took a deep breath. "Where is she?"

"They're transporting Isaac's body to St. Thomas and that's where we're at."

"We'll be right there." Jax said, before hanging up, then looked at Amanda. "We need to go back to Charming."

"Why?" Amanda sat up. " What happened?"

"Isaac was killed and his body will be transported to the hospital."

"Oh, my God." her eyes widened.

"Look, Miri needs you, but if Joel comes anywhere near you, I'll kick his ass, okay?"

"Okay." she nodded, then sat at the end of the bed, getting her shoes back on. "I hope Miri got to visit him."

"I'm not sure if she did or not." Jax put his cut back on. "But Juice said that she was freaking out." as Amanda stood up, Jax grabbed both of her hands. "No matter what, I'm not letting you out of my sight… if you're with Miri, I'll be close by."

"Promise?"

"Yeah, Babe." he gave her a kiss. "Come on, I'll check out, and follow you." she nodded, then as she got into the car, Jax went to the front office.

Amanda couldn't believe it and she's betting that her father is devastated as well, since Isaac was his best friend. She shook her head, then suddenly her phone rang. She looked at it and raised her eyebrow, pressing the talk button. "Hello?"

"Hey, it's Tara… I got some news." she took a deep breath. "I found you a new heart."

"Oh, no."

"What? I thought you'd be happy about it."

"It's not that… wait, tell me, where is it coming from?"

"An inmate in San Quentin was killed and he has the same blood type as you."

"Shit… it wouldn't happen to be Isaac Delgado, would it?"

"Um." Tara paused. "As a matter of fact it is. How did you know that?"

"Because his daughter is my best friend, Miriam… remember her?"

"Oh, yeah, I remember. I have to talk to her about releasing his organs, if she says yes, will you go through with it?"

"Well, I'm on my way to the hospital, so." Amanda watched Jax walk out of the office, looking down at his phone, then she sighed. "For my baby and the man that I love… yes."

"I'll wait to ask her when you get here."

"Okay, thanks, Tara."

"You're welcome."

Amanda hung up her phone and dropped it in her lap, before Jax went over to the drivers side. "You okay?"

"I'll be fine." she nodded. "You ready?"

"Yeah." he poked his head through the window and gave her a kiss. "Drive safe."

"I will." as she started up the car, Jax walked over to his bike got on, then Amanda took off, with Jax close behind her.

* * *

><p>AN: Okay, yes… I know I rushed it a little bit, but I really didn't want to drag it out longer than I had planned, so there's that. Hope you all enjoy and there's more to come!


	7. Chapter 7

Disclaimer: I own NOTHING from Sons of Anarchy… just my OC's. Thanks!

* * *

><p>…Chapter 7…<p>

Amanda and Jax made it to St. Thomas in record time, before they went inside to find Miriam and Juice, Amanda sent a picture of Joel to Jax's phone, so he could send it to all the guys to be on the look out for him, just in case. Once they walked in, they found Miriam sitting in the corner of the waiting room, hugging her knees to her chest, and Juice was a few seats away with his head in his hands.

"Hey, Miri." Amanda said, Miriam quickly looked up, and looked back down, then Amanda turned to Jax and Juice. "Could you two give us a few minutes?"

"Yeah." Jax nodded, then him and Juice walked out as Amanda sat down next to Miriam, in silence.

While Amanda was just sitting there, she took out her cell phone, and sent a text to Tara. _"Just a friendly heads up… Jax is here and I'm pretty sure the club will be too."_

Tara responded, about a minute later. _"Thanks. Isaac's body is almost here, but he'll be in the morgue. I'll come and get Miriam when it's time."_ Amanda didn't respond back, she just put her phone away, and took a deep breath, thinking about how her dad is handling the loss.

"I sat in that parking lot, for about three hours." Miriam said, after five minutes. "Why couldn't I just suck it up and visit him?"

"Miri, regardless how you felt about him… he loved you and you have to remember that."

"Maybe if I had gone in to visit, he'd still be alive." Miriam started sobbing. "It's all my fault."

"No, no." Amanda pulled her into her arms. "Don't you dare say that. You can't blame yourself for this, you're not the one that caused it."

"He'd probably still be alive, Amanda." Miriam backed up, letting go. "I should have visited him when you and Juice told me to, but I was too damn stubborn and too damn selfish, letting my pride get in the way." she stood up and walked over to a wall. "And now, it's too fucking late!" all of a sudden, Miriam punched the wall as hard as she could, only to cry in pain.

"Um…" Amanda started, but stopped, because she didn't know what to do at that point, so she just sat there, letting her best friend let out her anger.

Once Miriam calmed down a little, she sat down next to Amanda, holding her wrist to her chest. "I think I broke something."

Amanda lightly smiled, giving her a hug. "We'll fix it."

"Everything okay?" Juice cautiously poked his head through the door.

"Yeah." Amanda nodded. "But…"

Miriam lifted up her hand. "I broke something."

"What?" Juice raised his eyebrow, then Amanda nodded towards the wall. "Oh." he paused. "All the guys and Gemma's here, is it safe to come in?"

Miriam nodded, with a smile. "Sure… I'm fine now." Juice smiled back, then everyone walked in, and waited.

...

After Tara walked up from the morgue, she saw looked through the little window, seeing everyone standing around or sitting in the chairs. She leaned up against the wall and took a deep breath, before walking inside. "Miriam Delgado?" every single head, snapped towards the door, as Tara continued. "Your fathers body is here, I need you to come with me to identify him."

Miriam stared at her for a second, then stood up. "Sure."

"You… you're back?" Jax asked, a little shocked.

"Yeah." Tara nodded. "I felt I needed to, but this time, for good reason." she glanced over at Miriam. "You ready?"

"Yes." she gave Juice a kiss on the cheek.

"Hey." Amanda stood up. "I'll go with you."

Miriam held out her hand. "Please?" then Amanda grabbed it and walked out with Tara.

Nobody said nothing, but when they reached the double doors, Tara spoke up, looking right at Miriam. "Brace yourself, okay? I'll give you all the time you need with him."

"Alright." she nodded, taking breaths, then her and Amanda followed Tara into the room, and over to the exam table. Miriam nodded at Tara again to remove the sheet. "Daddy, no…" she rested her head on his forehead, sobbing. Amanda even cried a little, but she stood next to Miriam rubbing her back. After about ten minutes, Miriam lifted up her head, and wiped her face. "Okay, I'm done."

"Wait…" Tara started. "Before you leave, I have something to discuss with you."

"What is it?" she saw Tara glance at Amanda for a moment. "What's going on?"

"First off, I'm sorry about your loss, and I need you to sign a release form, since there isn't any other relatives, and you are the only next of kin, you need to sign it, to give away your fathers organs."

Miriam crossed her arms over her chest. "I may have hated him for running out on me all the time, and lost my chance to make up… but absolutely not."

Amanda opened her mouth to say something, but nothing came out, then Tara covered Isaac with the sheet. "Look, I know you're upset, but if you sign the release form, his heart will go to Amanda… they both have the same blood type and as soon as you give the consent, we can do the transplant tonight."

"You knew about this?" Miriam stood in front of Amanda, then slapped her across the face with her un-hurt hand. "You're my best friend and you couldn't even tell me that you wanted my dad's heart?"

Amanda held her hand to her cheek. "Tara told me, before Jax and I left. I wanted to tell you, but you were upset, and I didn't want to make it worse." she had a tear fall down her cheek. "I'm sorry." then she walked out of the morgue as fast as she could.

Amanda didn't know where she should go, if she stepped outside, she could bump into Joel, so she got on the elevator, and went up to the fifth floor, where she looked through the window of the new born babies. Tears started rolling down her cheeks as she placed both hands on her slight bump, knowing that she'd never get the chance hold hers, and she knows she had to tell Jax the whole truth, but a part of her couldn't bring herself to even attempt to do it.

...

Tara left Miriam alone with Isaac and went back to the waiting room. "Hey, Juice."

"Yeah?"

"You might want to be with Miriam, she's asking for you."

"Isn't Amanda with her?"

Tara looked over at Jax and shook her head. "She took off."

"Do you know where she went?"

"She didn't say where she was going."

"Shit…" Jax groaned, walking towards the door. "I need to find her." then he walked out. He looked outside and saw that the Challenger was still in it's spot, so he's pretty sure she hasn't left yet. Jax checked every single floor, and after fifteen minutes, he spotted her. He got a little closer and saw her looking at the babies in the window, and lightly rubbing her stomach with tear streaks down her cheeks, which made him raise his eyebrow. "Hey." he slowly walked up to her. "Are you okay?"

Amanda wiped her face and nodded. "Yeah, yeah, I'm fine."

"What are you doing on the maternity level?"

"Just." Amanda turned to the window. "Looking at the little babies, seeing how cute they are, and knowing… I'll never get to have one."

"What? What are you talking about?" he saw the red hand print on the side of her face, then lightly grazed it with his finger. "Who did that to you?"

"Miri slapped me, but I guess she had a good reason to."

"What reason?"

Amanda grabbed Jax's hand and led him over to a little sitting area, and sat down. "There's something I need to tell you and I better do it, before it's too late."

"Babe." he sat a little closer to her. "Whatever it is, I'm here for you."

"That's the thing, I don't know if you will, after I tell you what I have to tell you."

Jax grabbed her hand and held it. "I'm here and I'm not going anywhere, I promise." he looked at her and frowned. "Why are you crying?"

"Just listen to me and let me finish." she let go of his hand and took a deep breath. "Jax, I'm… dying."

"What?" his eyes widened like saucers.

Amanda nodded. "Yeah, I have a bad heart and I was on the list to get a new one, but I got knocked off the list. The only way I can get a new one is, if Miri signs the papers to have Isaac's heart released, and it'll go to me, but by the slap on my face." she pointed to it. "It doesn't look like Miri will be signing anything, so Isaac's heart was my last hope, and now it's not going to happen." she looked at Jax, studying his face. "I'm dying."

"Why didn't you tell me all of this?" Jax said, after five minutes of silence. "We were alone so many different times… you could have told me what was going on with you."

"Jax, I didn't want you or anyone to worry about me, because I had it under control. I was gonna tell you after my doctors appointment."

"Were you?"

"Yes, Jax."

"So, are you just gonna give up?"

"Not at first, but after I got that call at the party, I knew I had no hope, so that doctors appointment was just going to be things I could do to ease the pain… when I did die."

Jax shook his head, trying to hide his tears. "So, why'd you come here? Looking at the babies?"

Amanda knew she wasn't getting out of this conversation, so she took a deep breath. "I'm pregnant." she looked at him to study his face.

"The boyfriends?"

"No." she shook her head. "Remember that visit at the prison three and a half months ago? The baby is yours, Jax."

"No." he stood up. "Why are you even telling me that you're pregnant… when you said, and possibly have already made up your mind, that you've given up on living and not fighting for a new heart." he just stared at her for a few seconds. "Babe, don't give up. You might not get Isaac's heart, but we can find you another one."

"Jax…" she went up to him and he gave her a hug, not wanting to let her go.

"You can't give up, Amanda, I won't let you." Amanda felt tear drops on her shoulder. She's only seen Jax cry, a few other times, and this was the third. "What am I supposed to do without you? I need you… don't you understand that? I don't want anyone else, Amanda." he backed up to look at her, as tears were falling down both their cheeks. "I love you."

Amanda took a deep breath. "Okay… I'll try and convince Miri, but who knows, she might let me have his heart, she might not." she grabbed onto the front of Jax's cut with both hands. "Either way, I'll try and fight to get another one, because I love you too, and I don't wanna die - leaving you and Abel behind." she reached up and wiped the tears from his cheeks. "Did you know that Abel called me Mama?"

"He did?"

"Yeah, it was cute."

"Well, you should be his Mom, because there is nobody else that has earned it." he placed his palm on her whole stomach and felt a sense of happiness, just the thought of having a child with the woman he loves. He smiled at Amanda, seeing a different glow to her. "But you've earned it."

Amanda smiled a little, then grabbed his hand. "Come on, we gotta talk to Miri, maybe kiss her ass a little?"

"She has to say yes, Manda, she just has to." he pressed the button to the elevator, then they walked in. "You're her best friend, so why is it a hard decision for her?"

"Jax, her father just died and she never got the chance to visit him, she feels really shitty for not visiting him when she was going to."

"I don't want to lose you again, Babe… I'll go out and cut someone else's heart and give it to you."

"It won't have to come to that, but thanks." Amanda gave Jax a kiss, then laced her fingers with his. "Let me see what I can do." the elevator doors opened and they walked out. "Her decision can go either way, but all we can do, is try." Amanda took a deep breath, before her and Jax went back into the waiting room.


	8. Chapter 8

A/N #1: Apologies, Peeps, if I have neglected my SOA stories, there has been just too much Harry Potter going on. Been watching my movies, seeing the last one a few times, and typing up a HP story. I just can't get enough! Anyhoo… I bet everyone is excited for August 30th - when the season 3 DVD comes out and September 6th - Season 4 on FX! I'm super duper excited! Just in case you didn't know, well, there you go. Hope you enjoy this chapter and as a little warning, later on in this, I wrote this out yesterday, and that wasn't a good day for me, hell, every year on that same day isn't good for me, so you'll see which way I took it. My apologies, if I offended anyone, that wasn't my intention. Other than that… don't forget to R&R, my lovely people. Smooches!

Disclaimer: I own NOTHING from Sons of Anarchy… just my OC's. Thanks!

* * *

><p>…Chapter 8…<p>

"Hey." Gemma gave Amanda a funny look, staring at her cheek. "What happened to your face?"

"Oh, Miri and I had a disagreement… she's really upset."

"Did anyone say how Isaac was killed?" Clay asked.

"Not exactly." Amanda shook her head. "But all I saw, when Tara pulled the sheet back off his upper body, he had a few stab wounds to his chest and stomach."

"Shit." Clay groaned.

"What the hell is Tara doing here anyway?" Gemma glared at Jax and scoffed. "I bet she came back to get you in her clutches." he just frowned, shaking his head.

Five minutes later, Tara walked into the waiting room, and looked right at Amanda. "Can I talk to you for a second?"

"Sure." she nodded, then her and Tara walked out, and over to the vending machine. "What's up?"

Tara held up a folded paper. "Miriam signed the release form and the OR is being prepped… if you still want to go through with the transplant, you'll have a new heart tonight."

Amanda let out a breath of relief. "Wow… okay." then she frowned. "Jax know's, but what am I gonna say to the club, and Gemma?"

"You're gonna have to tell them, because they'll wonder what you're doing in the OR."

"What about the baby?"

"It'll be fine… we'll monitor it the whole time, you'll have nothing to worry about."

"That's good, but one more thing." Amanda paused. "I don't want nobody to know about the baby… just in case something _does_ happen to go wrong in surgery, you never know."

"I understand." Tara gave her slight smile. "Go and tell them. I'll come get you when everything is ready, you can do this."

Amanda looked unsure, but nodded anyway. "I can do this." then she walked back into the waiting room.

"Is everything okay?"

Amanda glanced at Jax with a little smile. "It will be."

"What do you mean?"

She grabbed Jax's hand and looked around the room, waiting for everyone's attention. "In a little bit, I'll be going in for surgery."

"For what?" Tig asked.

"I have a bad heart and the donation fell through the day of Nana's party, which knocked me to the bottom of the list, and I thought I'd never get another one, and I was about to give up. After we found out about Isaac, Tara called and told me that I'd be getting his… all that had to be done was, Miri signing the release form, which she did, and afterwards, I hope I won't have to worry about a new heart for a long time."

"Why didn't you tell us?" Gemma asked, crossing her arms over her chest. "

"Because I didn't want anyone to worry and my doctor's appointment in LA was going to be about what else I could do to get another one, but I don't need to now."

Tara suddenly poked her head in the door. "It's time, Amanda."

"Okay." she nodded. "I'll see all of you, in a little while."

Gemma gave Amanda a hug. "You come back to us… we'll wait here until you're done."

"Okay, give Nana a call, please, and let her know." Amanda said, letting go, and looked at everyone with worry in their eyes. "I'm sorry I didn't tell any of you."

"It's alright." Clay gave her a hug and let go. "You had your reasons, but we all love you, and we hope you're better after this."

"Thank you." she took a deep breath and looked at Jax. "Walk me over?"

"Yeah." he nodded, then him, Tara, and Amanda walked into the elevator, and went up in silence. By the time, they got to the floor they needed to, Amanda could tell how awkward it was, with Tara and Jax being near each other.

"Okay, we're ready to go." Tara started walking, but turned around, and raised her eyebrow. "What is it?"

"Can you give us a minute?"

"Sure, Jax." she nodded and went through the double doors, leaving them alone.

Amanda put both hands on his shoulders. "I'm gonna be fine."

"What about…" his eyes shifted to her stomach, then back up at her.

"The baby will be fine… Tara told me that they'll be keeping an eye on it, so he or she will be okay." she paused. "And please, don't tell anyone that I'm pregnant, not right now, at least. I mean, they just found out about my surgery. One hurdle at a time."

Jax nodded, then rested his forehead on hers. "It's a he."

"You think so?" she chuckled. "We'll see." she looked passed Jax and saw Tara waving through the little window. "I gotta go."

Jax gave her a hug, followed by a kiss, then rested his forehead on hers again. "I'll see you when you get out." she nodded, then started to walk away, but he grabbed her arm to make her stop. "I love you, Amanda."

"I love you too." she smiled, then after Jax let go of her, she walked through the double doors, and went with Tara to the OR.

...

Twenty minutes later, Evelyn walked in, scanning the room. "Jax." she went up to him. "You got a phone call." she held up her pre-pay to him.

"Who is it?" he asked, taking it out of her hand.

"Gavin… he wants to talk to you."

Taking a deep breath, he put the phone up to his ear as he stood up from the chair, then Evelyn took his seat next, which was next to Gemma. "Yeah?"

"How are you doing, Jackson?"

"Fine… I'll be better once I know that Amanda will be okay." he said, walking out of the waiting room, and over to the glass window.

"I have something to tell you." Gavin paused, obviously struggling with it. "After you and Manda left, I told Isaac about her heart problem and that she'll need a new one." he took a deep breath. "At our hour recess in the yard, he went up to a bunch of guys… it's a new gang in here, but he went up to them and started to fuck with them, anyway he knew how."

"Why?"

"Isaac knew that he'd never see Miriam again, he asked for it, and he let them kill him, before I or any of the guards could stop it, just so my little girl could live on."

"I - I can't believe he did that."

"Remember Jax, this stays between us, not even Manda can know, and definitely not Miriam… yes, he loved Miriam the best he knew how, but he wasn't in his right mind for a long time and it messed with his head, he was always depressed, knowing he hurt her and let her down in the past." there was a ten second pause, before Gavin spoke again. "I might be selfish, but I'm glad he did… because he saved Amanda."

"Yeah." Jax agreed.

"Is she in surgery now?"

"She's been in there for a half an hour."

"Look, Amanda… she's as stubborn as I am and she will make it and come out if this, to get back to everyone she loves, also, my little girl loves you and she won't leave this Earth without a fight."

"I know." Jax chuckled.

"Well, I gotta get going." Gavin sighed. "When Amanda wakes up, tell her… her dad says hello and that I'm thinkin' about her."

"I will… later, Gavin."

"Bye, Jax." he told him, then Jax snapped his phone shut and took a deep breath, letting all that information about Isaac marinate in.

...

"I got you a coffee." Juice set it on the little table.

"Thank you." Miriam nodded, wiping her tears.

Juice sat down in the seat next to her and sighed. "I know that decision wasn't easy for you, but you will get to keep your best friend."

"Yeah, if the surgery goes well… if it don't, then what? I have no father and no best friend."

"Miri, you can't think like that, you have to think positive, that something good will come out of this… and Amanda will."

Miriam looked over at Juice with tears streaming down her face. "I don't want to lose her."

"You won't, Babe." he gave her a hug, rubbing her back. "You won't."

...

Almost two hours had passed since Jax went back into the waiting room, when he did, he gave Evelyn her pre-pay back, then sat down next to Opie. About five minutes after, Tara walked in, with a hard look on her face, and as Jax stood up, Juice and Miriam walked in behind her.

"Is she okay?" Jax asked, fully of worry.

Tara didn't respond, then Miriam's eyes widened. "Please tell me she made it."

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><p>AN: Sorry 'bout the cliffy, Peeps, but enjoy anyway!


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